Friends, how many of us have them...really

[reprobayt]

Was talking to a friend last week about friends, associates, buddies, etc…

We both lamented how people throw the phrase ‘friend’ around when what they probably have is an acquaintance. They act as if the person who they see at the club every week is their friend – that they actually give a damn. It is maddening to watch people “hook up”, befriend, share secrets, monies and body parts with people they wouldn’t associate with in the light of day only because they are drinking together at 1:30AM on a random Saturday night. And then they wonder why their “friend” stole from them/lied about them/cheated on them/has them at the free clinic.

It always seems that the younger you are, the more apt you are in picking 'friends' badly. Maybe age does bring experience and understanding in such matters.

The conversation morphed into a discussion of how the Media loves to crap on the concept of true friends who communicate electronically instead of face-to-face.

Some of the people closest to me I get to see every few months…a couple I’ve never been in the same state, let alone face to face. But if you dare to diminish our bond and caring for each other, be ready to deal with me in your face and pissed off.

For me, friendship is a sacred thing. I personally will do anything in my power for a friend – and I feel guilt when I think I have let them down. All I ask is that they meet me halfway and will do the same.

What constitutes a friend in your eyes?

Comments

[stormkitty.livejournal.com]

My friends are those who have become an extended family. And no matter what I would be there for them and I know they would be there for me. Doesn't matter whether we're friends off the computer or just on the computer. :)

[dragonbride.livejournal.com]

Loyalty and unconditional love.

It means never having to say you sorry, but the other person knows you are just by looking into your eyes.

That person fuels you. They make you feel good for no reason at all.

I could go on . . .

[leopard-print.livejournal.com]

Honesty and transparency.
Being there when you are truly needed.
Personal investment in the life of the person whose friend you claim to be.
Doing what you say you will do.
Loyalty.

Those are the fundamentals, for me.

How ironic you should post this today.

[teague.livejournal.com]

I have heard the saying that "Friends are Family you choose for yourself."

Like family, you can't always control your friend, but you commit to them. Something bonds us to people who appeal to us. Familiarity, shared interests, shared life experiences. Eventually good friends share history. I always feel a measure of someone's maturity is if they can sacrifice a moment of their personal happiness for someone they like. Whether it's getting sweaty, and taking time out to help someone move, to bailing someone out of jail. Friends are people that you trust because you have learned to trust them. Sometimes you meet someone and bond instantly. Hanna and I did that. So did Scott and I. Sometimes people grow on you. One of my best, and longest lived online friends, who I speak with almost every night, and have for several years, Perry...I hated when I first met. I have a friend who's deeply troubled at times, and likely to remain that way her whole life. I love her anyway.

A real friend adds quality to your life just by existing, I think. A real friend creates bonds with you.

I knew you were a friend when you came down here to visit. We communicated, and you weren't afraid to prod at my shell a bit, so I opened up. I trusted then, and still do, your ability to handle my truth.

Maybe that is the measure of a friend. The ability to see another human being for what they are, and like them anyway.

[n3m3sis42.livejournal.com]

To me, a friend is someone that likes me, as a person and not as what I can do for them.

I'm not an especially selfless person, and I don't really go out of my way to do a lot for others, to be quite honest. If my friend is upset, I usually try to listen and give them what I think is the right thing to give (advice, sympathy, a kick in the ass). I'm not always good about remembering to communicate with the outside world, but if a friend comes to me and tells me I'm neglecting him or her, I try to fix it.

I'm not the kind of person that's very easy prey for people to take advantage of; I expect that's part of the reason that I can be so distant from people. I got burned in the past by thinking people were my friends when, like you said, we just got a buzz together every so often. So really, my true friends are the ones who have the balls to tell me when I'm not there for them so that I can fix it, and then stick with me until I do.

[i-descend.livejournal.com]

My friends have proved over time that I can trust them. They are patient with me when I'm skittish. They don't take it personally that I don't always share my ghosts with them. They don't make me jump through hoops to prove my friendship with them. My Friends accept my limitations because they value me and what I offer in return.